For Bird, the drive is absent.

For Bird, the drive is absent.

I apologize to Larry Bird lovers. Simply said, the “Hick from French Lick” is no more.

Bird, the current director of basketball operations for the Indiana Pacers and former star of the Boston Celtics, made some self-deprecating jokes about his age (58) and weight (“I couldn’t fit in any uniform right now”) during a phone interview on The Dan Patrick Show on Monday. He also managed to throw in some trash talk.

When asked how he would do in a hypothetical one-on-one against Patrick, Bird responded, “It’s probably 10 to 8 because I’ve got to sit down and take a break when you’ve got the ball.” Bird also stated that he’s still “in the conversation” to be the best shooter of all time.

Patrick later cited comments made by 52-year-old Michael Jordan, the owner of the Charlotte Hornets, who once led the Chicago Bulls, saying he could defeat any player on the current Charlotte squad.

That made Bird chuckle. Then, in a question reminiscent of the vintage McDonald’s commercials, Patrick questioned how Bird would perform against his former Dream Team colleague today.

Bird said, “I hate to say it, but he’d kill me.”

“I’ve gained forty pounds since I last played. I’m at my lowest. Unlike before, I don’t really give a damn. I’m going to fight, but it won’t be as intense as it used to be. It should be a close game.

Next is Charles Barkley.

Place a little wager and win large.

A horse bettor won $471,124.50 on a 50-cent wager on Saturday, according to ESPN.com.

Realm (11-1), English Minister (3-1), Site Read (21-1), Hey Bro (24-1) and Saratoga Mischief (6-1) were all listed on the winning ticket, and they all won the first five races at Saratoga Race Course in Saratoga Springs, New York.

Since there was just one ticket that had all five of these winnings, the New Jersey bettor who asked to remain anonymous took home the whole pooled payoff.

In all fairness, the winning ticket only cost 50 cents, but the bettor had wagered $675 on five different horses to win the initial five races.

The New York Racing Association, which owns the Saratoga, Belmont, and Aqueduct racetracks, employs handicapper Andy Serling, who told ESPN.com that Saturday’s lone payoff was unusual.

Every race day since the NYRA racetrack began offering the Pick Five in the fall of 2013 has seen at least one winner. However, Serling claimed that in almost two years, there has only been one winner a few times.

According to the NYRA, it was the largest payout for a Pick Five since August 29 at Saratoga, when a single winner took home $595,502, the previous year.

Love on fire

Although preseason tours aren’t the most enjoyable for teams, it’s usually a good idea to pretend, if only for the sake of the supporters.

Perhaps someone ought to have alerted Manchester City of the English Premier League, which was in Hanoi, Vietnam, for a Monday morning friendly against an all-star Vietnamese squad.

Sadly, the Man City players showed little interest in shaking hands or interacting with the supporters. As a result, one fan uploaded a video of the team online with the comment, “Man City’s stars remain indifferent to the hearts of Vietnamese fans.”

The players in the video simply turned away and continued walking in spite of the enthusiastic supporters’ many greetings.

Of course, neither the fan nor the players he was attempting to greet—David Silva of Spain and Fernando of Brazil—spoke English fluently. However, not a single player or person whose name was mentioned even waved to the audience.

Another fan became so incensed over the team’s seeming indifference that he created a 4-and-a-half-minute film, ending with him burning his match tickets in protest.

Vietnam was defeated 8-1 by Man City in the match.